Do we talk about our wishes…?

At the end of the newscaster George Alagiah’s life, he dictated to his wife the words he wanted to be read aloud at his memorial service.

This made sure he was part of that ceremony and it’s clear that he had discussed his wishes with his family. 

When someone dies, there’s a whole host of questions a family suddenly have to answer about their loved one.  Burial or cremation, what kind of flowers, where’s the wake going to be held, what music should be played, the list goes on and on. 

It’s like arranging a wedding at rocket speed when you’re in the midst of a stressful and emotional time. 

What if the answers to those questions were there for your family?  

As a family, we talked about death and wishes for funerals – it made things easier when we needed to start planning.

We don’t talk about death and dying enough, we see campaigns about organ donation which encourage us to talk to our loved ones about our wishes. We see Ads about writing a will…

…but do we really talk about dying and what we’d want at the end? 

If you are sadly diagnosed with a terminal illness, it can focus your mind on what’s often referred to as ‘getting your affairs in order’. 

You may want to plan your own funeral, You may be able to discuss this with your loved ones but it may be too hard – are there other options?   

It can help to talk to someone independently and to put your wishes into something that can be left for your loved ones. You may also want like George to have your words included in your funeral. 

Did you know talking to a celebrant is one option, I can help you find the words and pull together what you would like to leave behind for your funeral or memorial. 

This can be down to fear of the unknown, however, knowledge can make it less scary. There are now organisations encouraging us all to talk more about death – Kicking the Bucket says that ‘does life become better when we admit that death is part of it’. 

There is a bit of a revolution going on, there’s more choice for what happens when you die, and part of that we do need to talk about dying and death more.

And you can plan and be at your own funeral if you wish.  Living Funerals are becoming more popular – it’s a real celebration of life.  In this story, Rob Hale wanted to make sure he could say goodbye and organised a day full of fun which has helped him to come to terms with his diagnosis. 

I can also help you with this, anything is possible. Just get in touch.

Planning your funeral can though be done at any time, it’s part of having more open conversations about dying. It’s not morbid, it’s the one thing in life that’s guaranteed, we talk openly about other stages in our lives but death remains in the dark. Let’s bring it out into the light.

Start the conversation with your loved ones. It will be worth it.